Humor Religion

Just what every child needs!

Just what every kid wants! For children of extreme fundamentalists looking to be raptured, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Spider-Man, or Superman just won’t do! What would Jesus think when He returns? Harry Potter represents witchcraft, an abomination! Star Wars replaces God with The Force. Superheroes are too frivolous, and Superman is too obviously a Christ-figure.

So what’s the answer if you’re a concerned fundamentalist parent who wants to maximize the chance that her child will be one of the chosen when the Rapture comes?

Why, Armor of God PJ’s, of course!


Yes, according to the manufacturer:

The whole Armor of God Pajama set will help your children to depend on God to protect them from their fears, doubts, and uncertainties at night so their sleep can be restful and peaceful.

Here’s what the PJ set includes:

  • Pajama top with breastplate of righteousness and belt of truth hem.
  • Pajama pants with wings of peace to cover feet.
  • Helmet of salvation.
  • Shield of faith pillow.
  • Sword of the Spirit (New Testament).
  • Activity coloring book.

And what a bargain at only $49.95!

If that’s not enough, though, you can arm your child even more to be in the Army of God. For example, you can buy an Armor of God bear, complete with Shield of Faith, Breastplate of Righteousness, Sword of the Spirit, Belt of the Truth, and Helmet of Salvation. (OK, I do have to admit reluctantly that the stuffed bear is kind of cute, even with the Armor of God on it.) And for daylight hours, when the kids shouldn’t be wearing PJs, there’s the Armor of God Playset.

What’s with all this emphasis on “armies,” “armor,” and weapons among these toys? What happened to the religion of peace?

(Hat tip to Evangelical Right.)

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

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