Complementary and alternative medicine Humor Medicine Quackery

Out of work due to woo

EoR reports that in Australia, legislation has been passed that allows people other than doctors to issue medical certificates for absences from work, including pharmacists, nurses, acupuncturists, and physiotherapists.

Quite naturally, he wonders when the “the reikiists, the homeopathists and the therapeutic touch” practitioners will want the same privileges and imagines the sorts of letters they will produce:

This is to certify that Joe Bloggs is suffering from

Stagnant qi

Liver toxins

Mercury poisoning

He will be unfit for work for two weeks while he strengthens his immune system.

Heh. I could do this. How about:

Dr. H. Quack, NP, Naturalist

This is to certify that J. Altie is suffering from

Multiple subluxations

Stagnant colon contents

A liver fluke infestation (Hulda Clark will attest to this.)

Inadequate vitamin levels

Weakened immune system

He will be unfit for work for at least two weeks while he cleanses himself of toxins, purges evil humors, and realigns his qi.

Hey, this is kind of fun. Feel free to join in with your own example of altie work excuses for illness.

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

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