Humor Personal

Fourth of July fireworks safety tips…

It’s nearly sundown here in the eastern time zone of the United States. That means that soon all sorts of amateur fireworks aficionados will be making a whole lot of noise and, the part that I hate, scaring the crap out of my poor dog. So, for those of you who are soon going to be reducing my poor dog to a quivering mass of fur, not to mention annoying me to no end, in the spirit of the holiday season, I have some firework safety tips for you:

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

9 replies on “Fourth of July fireworks safety tips…”

Trying to give the new residents in emergency departments across the country a real baptism by fire?

It’s still going on out there.

I like fireworks, just not under trees near a pond where birds are nesting. July 5th baby birds on the ground depress me.

My neighbors are chavs. Should I move? Or are these types ubiquitous?

Or live where I am where it has been raining steadily for the last two hours, and will probably continue past the 10pm start of the city’s fireworks show. We did not bother to go the three miles to see it up close, we might see a glow of the display through the mist.

Every 4th of July and every New Years Eve, my neighborhood sounds like a war zone. Heck, we don’t even need to have our own fireworks, we can just sit outside and watch everyone else’s.

I love fireworks. My dog doesn’t minds them at all. We did sparklers in the yard and watched the city displays while cooking our salmon. Memories of fireworks are some of the best memories of my childhood. A guy on our block bought a huge mass of them every year and put on a great show for the whole neighborhood (most of us couldn’t afford much more than some sparklers, so this was a real treat for many of us).

It’s unfortunate that there are avoidable accidents related to irresponsible fireworks use, but I would hate to see them disappear completely.

C’mon, Orac, it’s one day a year–sit with your pooch and tell him/her it’s “okay”, and enjoy the show.

Those guys in the video weren’t really very funny–just dopey.

I’m personally fond of fireworks, but I do get very twitchy when people set off big ones in our narrow, urban gardens. Gardens no wider than a single room (about 3.5m round here), each with several wooden sheds with tar-paper roofs, with board fences between them. Especially during a dry summer.

Has Orac tried earplugs for his dog?

At least they’re fireworks. When my parents retired they moved to Florida. The first July 4th after they arrived the neighbors asked my dad “so – are you gonna shoot?” When he didn’t get the question, they explained “oh, around here we shoot off our guns into the air”.

I have a marginal preference for fireworks…

Comments are closed.


Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading