How dogs think

I haven’t seen it summed up quite as well as here:

Dog: I am starving.

Me: Actually, no. You aren’t starving. You get two very good meals a day. And treats. And Best Beloved fed you extra food while I was gone.


Me: I saw you get fed not four hours ago! You are not starving.

Dog: Pity me, a sad and tragic creature, for I can barely walk, I am so starving. WOE.

Me: I am now ignoring you.


Dog: Did you hear me? I am starving.

Dog: Are you seriously ignoring me? Fine.

[There is a pause, during which the dog exits the room in a pointed manner.]

[From the kitchen, there comes a noise like someone is eating a baseball bat.]

My wife was gone visiting her family for almost two weeks not too long ago; so the part where the dog laments, “You left me here with only one human to look after my needs. One human is NOT ENOUGH!” struck a little close to home. So true, particularly when that one human is someone like me who’s at work 12 hours a day (although I did cut back the hours I spent at the office and lab, so as not to strain our dog’s bladder while my wife was gone).

At least my dog doesn’t get into discussions of quantum theory with me, although, alas, she has been known to behave like this. Then, of course, there is the periodic bunny carnage to be contended with.

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

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